Attitude

Recently I was out visiting my parents.  Both of them are in their mid to late eighties and still living in their own home.  It’s not easy – they have physical problems such as arthritis, loss of sight and hearing, forgetfulness and, psychologically frustration.  My mother said to me (and she’s said it before), “Don’t get old.”  This time I responded a bit flippantly, I guess, “So I should die young?”

I know what she means to say of course: Life is not easy anymore, even getting up in the morning is a chore and she can’t do the things she used to love like work in the garden.  There was an issue about some paper work that they were both frustrated with and so I handled it.  My dad talked about life being too complicated. 

I’m not that young myself anymore and have my own aches and pains, little things that go wrong or muscles that don’t bounce back the way they used to. I don’t sleep as well at night as I once did and my digestion is iffy at times so I have to be careful what I eat.

It saddens me to see my parents now.  It seems to me that their quality of life isn’t all that good.  And yet they have enough money to live, food and shelter, people who help them.  I try to suggest things, though I’m not sure they get through.   I know that depression can be an issue for seniors.  It’s difficult to walk in another’s shoes.  Not easy to change your behaviour or ways of thinking after a lifetime of doing things a certain way.

As I continue to get older (and right now I`d like to get really old) I want to be the kind of person who sees the glass half full rather than half empty.  In other words, it`s not about what I`ve already drunk except in so far as I have all the memories of the great tastes (and the bitter ones too – because those brought me learning and insight), but rather about what`s still left to drink.

What surprises may lurk around the next corner?  I didn`t expect to have a grandson who I`m crazy about and I wouldn`t have missed that experience for the world.  I want plenty more time with him and his parents.  I want the experience of spending time with friends, travelling, writing, and just simply living.  My garden is beautiful right now with bright flowers; walking along the riverbank in the cool of a summer morning is amazing.

Attitude is a choice and even the worst experience can be improved by a positive outlook.  It`s not always easy to find the light in the darkness, but I certainly intend to do my best in that regard.  And if you just can’t find the candles (there was a power outage when I was out at my parents and my mother got terribly upset when the kerosene lamp was empty and she couldn’t find the candles), maybe the best thing to do is just sit there and enjoy the dark.