Identity

On November 14 I listened to an interview on CBC Radio with Tom Power on Q.  He was talking to Heloise Letissier, aka Christine and the Queens aka Chris. Letissier is a French performer who, similarly to other entertainers, has created personas for the stage, and choose a stage moniker.

I really liked what she said about exploring classic masculine theatrics, and about the constructs of masculinity that we create, as well as about choosing her narrative. This made me think about identity and the stories we tell about ourselves.

I’ve had a number of different identities in my life so far. I was a young German girl, then an immigrant – a ‘stranger in a strange land.’ Later I became a university student who found friends and groups to belong with. Then I became a young wife and a teacher. Eventually a mother. Divorce happened and I was a single parent and continued to be a working person. Somewhere in there I took up my dream to be a writer and I began to think and speak of myself as a writer. I changed jobs a few times and each job opened up new ways of being, taught me new things about myself and the world. Now I am single and older, mainly retired, but still writing, learning to cope with the aging process.

Letissier describes herself as pan-sexual. I have thought for a long time that we spend too much time categorizing people as male or female, as actions, feelings, and ways of being as one or the other. Someone said to me some time ago that he admired my femininity. Which puzzled me because I don’t spend every day thinking that I am feminine. To some people I would probably not be seen as feminine because for a long time I have lived alone, been independent, cut my own grass, shovelled snow, fixed things around my house, and so on.  I choose to do the things I want to do, feel the way I want to feel, without thinking about whether these are masculine or feminine. Why can’t we accept each person as they present themselves without having to put labels on, without thinking that any of these are better than others?

I do understand that some people put labels on themselves, and that is a choice. Perhaps to identify with a group or to set themselves apart, or to clarify who they are. I’m glad that there is a lot more dialogue than there used to be about gender, politics, culture, racialization, and identity.

It disturbs me to see an increasing lack of tolerance in various societies. I hope for a future where this changes so that we are more accepting, open and kind to each other.